Posted on May 8, 2019 by Kinga Kurek

I want to be the kind of blogger that doesn’t loose sleep over their blog (especially since my entire livelihood doesn’t depend on it). I want to be the kind of blogger that is not concerned over other people’s opinions over my blog, and most importantly the statistics of this blog and social media. I want to be the kind of blogger that actually blogs. And I’m blogging for me. 

I can go days, weeks, months, hell, even years spending countless hours creating, to make sure I have something to post on this platform, so I have content. However, at the end of the day, it takes me ages to actually post it and share it with the world. And I’ve been here before, over and over again. So scared to share the images, the videos and the thoughts with the world, thinking that it’s not good enough, that no one will care and all that passion, dedication and hard work was for nothing. 

Friends, family, people who know me from online would vouch for me if anyone would ever ask them about me, that one thing about me that’s sure is that I love fashion. And I really do, to the point of hating it, to the point of admitting defeat that maybe all of these years of hard work and dedication where for nothing.  But for fashion’s sake, I did not go from styling editorials, covering LFW and LCM, having the opportunity of discovering the new fashion talent, going to press events of very well established brands to now be sitting in caffe shop in central London being stressed about my future to the point of panic and tears.

That’s not the Kinga I’ve imagined to see years later when starting this blog. Sure style wise I have improved, dramatically I might say. But I think personality wise, passion wise and even my work ethic has tamped down over the years. Sure back I may (quite literally lol) be killing myself to be someone in this heartless industry, but at least I was doing something. Where now I feel like I expect a pat in the back when I publish a photo on Instagram, like that was not part of my “job.” I mean, I’ve been here, I’ve done this before and I survived, I was blogging all the time, working, trying to be something like it was a last thing I would ever do. And I want that Kinga back. I want that blogger back. That’s the blogger I want to be. I’m not doing this to make anyone else proud, but myself. 

Beret – Primark (similar) // Hoodie – John Galliano // Top- Sarah Thursday // Trousers – New Look (similar) // Shoes – UNIF (similar) // Pentagram Necklace – Alchemy England //  Bum BagKillstar // Belt with chain – ASOS (similar)

Let’s be friends ^_^

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Photography: Josh Milton

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