I am painfully aware, that the phrase “No one likes you when you’re 24” is wrong and it should be “no one likes you when you’re 23”. I know that. But since I’ve missed that golden opportunity last year, Why shall I miss it over all, for this year. I mean, I’m just a year older. That’s what I say every year anyway. For some reason around my birthday I always get this weird need to reflect.
Or maybe this need is completely healthy and normal, I don’t know. You tell me.
I’ve done this weird reflection thing of mine last year and year before that. And I think it’s needed, since I do think and over-think a lot, about everything. Sometimes you just need to drop your thoughts down. And that’s why I blog partly, because it does make sense to me to write down and publish some of the stuff that goes in my head, whenever it’s reflection, ideas, dreams, thoughts, opinions.
And I want to write more.
I really do. And I actually have few articles that are ready to be published, or half way there, whenever it’s on WordPress, my notes app, my paper notes… But in the past year I’ve noticed that I’ve been enjoying the creative process, of writing, editing or shooting so much that I don’t want to publish any of it. I want to lock it up, away from people, away from the internet, social media. Away from the world, because sometimes it all feels so personal that it should not be shared, or it will be taken in the wrong way or judged where the judgment is not needed. In the year of being 23 I’ve learned to let go. Learned to enjoy the minute not push myself to absolute limits with my content. I took breaks away from social media, took breaks from posting and creating. I took breaks from events and fashion weeks. I’ve learned that being in the heart of all the action does help but is not needed to be a blogger. Or a good one. You just need to have a platform and publish on it.
I’ve learned that not everyone is going to like you or understand you or accept you and that’s ok because at the end of the day it’s their loss. But you will find people who will.
I’ve learned to let go of the industry that I so deeply love, so one day I may some back to it, but not for other people but for me. Not working in fashion or media or creative industries because I feel like I cannot do anything else besides from that but because I love it. And if it’s meant to be it’s going to happen. I’ve learned that sometimes the longest and deepest friendships may have to end but that’s ok. You’ll find new friends, form new relationships with people who never thought you would. I’ve learned to trust and open up to those who matter, and you don’t have to know them for years. I’ve learned to be grateful for the little things, like easy way to get to work, or a morning coffee, or watching a movie with my housemates on a Friday night instead of going out to party, I’ve learned to appreciate the moment.
Or maybe it’s just me getting old.
Let’s be friends ^_^
Photography: Sara Luxe