Around a week ago, I’ve turned 22. Weirdly enough. Honestly, I don’t know how I feel about that, old (I know I’m not really) stuck (let’s face it trying to figure out life and career perspectives sucks in this time we live in) and touch unaccomplished (I know I am but I always strive for more which often leads to being unsatisfied) but regardless of all the negative crap I hope being another year older will finally cause for others to take me seriously. And I know the first few sentences might sound bit sad to read, like I am not excited about being 22, let’s be real who is? But I’ve seen this trend on YouTube and different blogs, when other content creators share what they have learned during the years they’ve been on this planet, and each one of them is different and really inspiring. I feel like despite all I have learned a thing or two. Or twenty two. And as my birthday was only a week ago I feel like, it’s still mildly appropriate for me to share this list with you, hopefully you will take something out of it.
1.I’m still a child
Yes, I know before you turn 18 we just can’t wait to be “adults” and think that the moment that magic 1 8 comes we are finally adults. No, sit down. Don’t get me wrong, in a way I love being an adult but am I really such an adult? When I was living alone you know what I ate when I just could not bother to cook, and that was often by the way. Cereal. If I feel not well, I won’t go to a doctor, I’ll sleep it off. I need to be dragged to a dentist. When I need to apply for internships or jobs and basically sell myself and skills I get cold sweats. You won’t see me talk over a phone much unless I’m talking to a friend. Business phone calls? No, thank you, I’d rather Skype, it stresses me out less. But you get the general idea. When it comes to doing adult-y stuff or basically try to function like a normal adult member of the society, you can sign me out, thank you! Anyone else feels like this?
2.People aren’t as scary. We are all humans
Once, not that long ago I’ve been told that I act like I’m scared of people. And let me tell you, if you worked in London in the customer service position (I totally feel your pain, you can do it!) you would be scared as well. Not everyone, but in general people are kind of assholes, you always get that one or two people during your shift that are acting so stuck up and well, scary that you’d rather go back to your bed, hide under a blanket and never see the light of day or the face of that customer. Adding to that, I’m an introvert, I prefer my own company rather than strangers, so of course long hours surrounded by them can be rather exhausting! Other introverts, please back me up on this one! So when it comes to social internation, I’d rather not. But of course it has to happen at some point. The way I deal with it, is basically telling myself that these people who may act scary, aren’t really scary. I personally am an owner of a “bitch face” but if you just say two words to me, I promise I won’t be mean. And that may go to other people. Sure, there are people who maybe, but just think of it this way. It’s one person, in the day. That’s really not a lot. I’m always here if any of you want to cry.
3.It’s ok to be upset just don’t let it hold you back
I am very known for holding grudges. You screw me over once, you’re done for life. And I had few situations in my life that this trait of mine could be seen crystal clear. And I personally think there’s nothing wrong with that. If someone did you wrong (more then few times) stay away from that person as far as you can. But don’t let that hold you back in you life, and that goes into socializing, concentrating on your passions or moving forward with life. If there’s a situation that feels like is a setback into whatever you want to archive just think of what you can take from that. For example. I moved to Manchester to live with my parents, away from my beloved London and in a way it does feel like I am missing out on so many cool opportunities, than again I got to spend the money I use to spend on rent, for traveling and life experiences. So, it’s not always so bad. Just move forward, and don’t look back.
4.Being involved in the outside world is crucial that includes politics.
I was always the one that hated politics, tried to stay away from them as far as possible. I never really felt or seen the impact politics had on us and the world we live in, it all seemed like a thing that was just on tv or online, far away from everyday ordinary life. Well, until last year. When the whole Brexit fiasco happened, and then later Trump won as a president of the US of A, it just showed peoples true views and outlook on the world and society. And it’s really sad really, and as much as I dislike politics, it is important to spread awareness and knowledge on certain topics, especially since these topics are going to most likely affect you in everyday life. So stay woke, present and be involved in what’s going on around you. Talks, protests, internet discussions and even spread your voice thought the hashtags. It may not seem very big but at the end of the day it does make impact and the internet makes it that much easier. So don’t shut yourself in it, but connect, with people and with the world.
5.Untaken opportunities will be regretted.
I think we all had that one opportunity to do something and if we didn’t we hugely regretted it. Now that I’m not in London, I regret not living in London to the fullest and fully embracing that city, even though I had the opportunity to do so. And few months ago an opportunity presented itself to me and I was very hesitant to it, and then my parents told me to just take it because later in life I may regret it. Looking back now, taking that opportunity, I don’t regret taking it, it showed me my potential and guided me closer to the path of creating that I want to create, and that is blogging and YouTube. So even though nothing big really happened with it, it did teach me to take things into my hands and that hard work and determination does get recognised. Just not by the right people, this time. What I’m trying to say is that if there is an opportunity, and that could anything, work related, travelling or simply meeting new people. Take it, you never know what could come out, of it. In the worst case, it could just teach you a thing or two.
6.Travelling and getting to know the world is more important than material possessions.
And this statement comes from a full on materialist (and potentially shopaholic). I’m not saying that you shouldn’t buy that lipstick, or another pair of shoes. But if you can spend some money on that plane ticket and airbnb to a place you love or wanted to visit for a while the items you wanted won’t matter, and you can always get them, sooner or later but when it comes to travelling, well the ticket prices change constantly, so just book that plane ticket. You won’t regret it! And once you do, you realize how small the world is. I’ve always seen traveling as something that can be only done after months and months of savings, and of course that depends on your financial situation but if you book the tickets in advance you can get quite a cheap adventure.
7. People from online can be the best people you can meet.
I think that my parents weren’t the only one that were warning me about meeting people from online, and that’s really reasonable and understandable why they would do it, the world is full of people that are just waiting to take advantage from the connection that online world has given us. And I would always advice you on being careful about who you’re talking to or meeting online. It’s better to be safe than sorry. With all of that being said, internet gives us an amazing opportunity to connect with so many cool people! It’s amazing how online, Instagram, blogs and everything in between connects people and brings us all closer. I met so many amazing people online, I got to create true friendships thought this blog and keep in touch with people who don’t live close to me. I always find it so mind blowing how we can become friends though online, and continuing that friendship thought it and maybe on later evolve it to real life. It’s easier to become friends with people who you already feel like you already have so connection with, there’s no awkwardness. So if there is someone online that you already know somehow don’t be afraid to extend that knowledge and who knows, you could get a friend for life. I know I have. And also that’s why at the end of my posts, I always write “Let’s be friends” because I want to be friends with you!
8. If you get an opportunity to improve take it.
I think sometimes I can come off as “know it all” whenever in fact I am totally opposite. I don’t know it all and every single day I find a bit of information, learn, and improve thought that. And I see all the time the opportunities to improve, there are always tutorials online, books, or even friends and family. I know that sometimes learning new can be scary at times, I use to dread the days when I had a class on learning how to use Photoshop, where now I wish I could go back, as it something that I belivie could be really useful both personally and professionally. My friend recently, told me she can teach me how to use Photoshop a bit, so guess what, once I’ll buy it, I’ll take that offer and hopefully expand my skills! So whenever life, or a person gives you an opportunity to attend a class, short course, how learning stuff that may seem insignificant now, but later will be needed, just take it. All of the knowledge you gain now can be used in the future.
9.If you know something stick to it.
With the last paragraph I also wanted to remind you in this one that regardless the fact that we can always improve in literally everything we can think of at the same time it’s really important to know what you are good at and stick to you. You know that writing is something that comes like a piece of cake to you, write more. People always compliment you on your visual skills? Draw more, take photos more, edit more! And don’t let other people, especially those don’t have much knowledge on the stuff that you enjoy tell you that you are not good enough! There’s one thing, telling someone that they need improvement and another thing just mocking their skill set, even if it comes from a good place. Quick example, when I was applying for an art school I’ve been told that I’m not really that good at drawing, but I enjoyed it and knew that maybe I wasn’t good at every single style of drawing there was but I could draw and guess what,I got in! That just proves that if you believe you can do something, you will do it!
10 Don’t live for other people.
And that goes for your friends, co-workers or even family. I know it sounds super harsh. But it’s true. At the end of the day you are your own person. Don’t fake passions and interests in order to be liked, in the long run it really isn’t worth it. Don’t study subjects that you don’t find any pleasure in, and are doing this just because they expect you to do it. Of course at times we all have find a compromise but what I’m trying to say is, do what makes you happy, live for yourself and don’t look at others, what they might think or expect from you. You are not those people. You are yourself and live for yourself.
11.Record your thoughts (and feelings).
I’m pretty lucky to have this blog, and not only because I get to connect with people alike, but also because this blog means, year’s worth of thoughts. Sometimes I like to go back and read my old posts, look where my mind was at few years ago and whenever I grew as a person since then, that’s how I look at this blog as well. Not only its an outlet for my passion for style and fashion but also a place where my personality is, and to have that freedom to write and express visually so damn cool! I’ve always been one of these people who were recording their thought process and feelings through words and visuals. I remember having a diary when I was younger, just writing about my day, then later I discovered Tumblr and was pouring my soul there, and still do and we all know what happened after that, I created this blog and started sharing those thoughts with you. And as much as I keep my personal life private I share a lot, and I love it! And even if you don’t feel like sharing your thoughts with an audience, you can always blog in private.
12.Environment is what’s around us, care for it.
Don’t litter, don’t destroy plants, stop using plastic water bottles and just filter your water instead, if you see a wild animal in it’s environment leave it alone. Personally, for sure I don’t treat environment 100% more than I should! But I try my best, and I feel like even making this point and trying to spread the message to care bit more about nature, animals and the world we live in will do something. I hope at least.
13.Worked harder than anyone else and it will be rewarded.
Ok, currently, as I’m writing this I’m not sure if I myself believe this as it feels like I’ve worked so hard towards something for so long and it just led me nowhere. In moments like these I try to think of all the awesome stuff that my hard work has gave me, I met so many cool people thought working my butt off in fashion, I’ve learned a lot and go given pretty cool opportunities. But I feel like the biggest reward is that I can do what I like doing and it is this. Creating, writing, connecting, blogging. And I plan to work even harder to achieve that I want. And you should to. It all may seem super long and there could be no end to it, but trust me at one point you will be grateful for all the times you worked your butt off for whatever you wish out of life!
14.Life won’t always go to your plan and it’s ok.
Ahh if only I got a penny for every single time something didn’t go according to my plan I would be a millionaire by this point, let me tell you! It always seems like life is just waiting for an opportunity to screw me over and mess up my plans. But sometimes we are the ones that are going along with it, sabotaging ourselves in the process so of course things won’t always go the way we would want them to go, and it sucks, no one likes having their plans being messed up with, especially since these plans are big. But sometimes we have to remind ourselves that if that happens, that’s totally ok. Life is unpredictable and full of surprises and that’s the great thing about it, otherwise it would be super boring! So just go along with it and see what happens.
This is something that I’ve putted on there, but it’s a lesson that I still need to learn. But as much as saving money sucks, we all need to do it, eventually we have to adult and do adulty things like finding a place to live, car, bills, and savings in these kinds of situations would be very much helpful. That’s all I have to say. To Kinga in the future: Stop spending money!
16.Make sure you have time for yourself.
This sure sounds easy, especially coming from me. I love being alone. The days that I can spend all by myself and just do whatever I want, which most of the time is watching shows on Netflix or reading or writing. These are my favourite days. And not only the days when I can get productive but also the days when I can do nothing whatsoever. And even if you like being around people and super productive, it’s important to step down, rewind and spend sometime in your own company. Whenever it’s just doing simple stuff like skincare after long day, or 30 minutes just reading your favourite book, not socializing for a bit, is in fact important. I feel like that’s what extroverts (people who like being around people a lot) could learn from introverts (people who like their own company).
17.Stop comparing yourself to other people, we are all individual.
I am guilty af of this! I tend to compare myself, achievements and skills to other people. And it does not help improving these at all. It just makes me sad and unmotivated. And when that happens I just try to remember that we are not the same. We all have different skills, system of learning and lifestyle. Just because some people archived certain things by a certain time, does not mean that you have to. And who knows maybe there’s someone who’s scrolling down your blog or Instagram and just wishes they were you. Don’t envy and compare to other people and their lifestyles. It’s ok to desire certain things but don’t lose yourself in these things. Take your time, whenever it’s growing your social media platform, blog, skills etc.
18.It’s better to have few close friends than dozen distant one’s.
I consider myself extremely, lucky, I definitely have the best closest friends, who support me no matter what! I know I can count on them regardless of the situation, they won’t judge, laugh at me, instead I can always find comfort and support whenever I need it. And vice versa of course! Even though we are different people, we on the same wavelength. And it’s weird and funny how each one of my friends goes perfectly with all the different traits and interests I have. I have friends who share my love for Tokio Hotel and we can fangirl together, I have friends who are passionate and invested in fashion and creating content as much as I am. I have friends who have the same music taste as I do, so we can geek out over our favourite bands together. I have friends who I can be super weird with, I have friends who calm me down when I freak out, I have friends who can honestly, say anything and everything to and I know they don’t leave me nor judge me. And knowing that is the best thing in the world. We may be miles apart, not talk every single day but at the end of the day I know I can count on each and every single one. It’s the quality of a friendship not the quantity.
19.Always trust your gut.
Some people refer to this as, trusting your heart, but I feel like sometimes your gut is smarter than your heart. If something does not feel right, and your gut is just twisting and turning, stopping you to make a potential mistake, listen to it. I wish I listened to my gut feeling, it would have saved me so much time, effort and thinking. Most of the time we have to think through different scenarios or situations but if any of them just gives you that feeling that you know you should follow, do it! After all, who knows you more than yourself?
20.Splurge on things that you enjoy.
I’m not talking necessarily, big things, like travelling or concerts, clothes, etc you get the point. Sometimes we just really enjoy the little things, that overpriced soy latte in this hipster cafe that’s way too overpriced but too good to resist. You live in the city but prefer to be around nature? Why not book a train to the closest nature destination and spend an entire day surrounded by plants,, tree’s and the sound of birds? You miss your friends but live couple of hours away from them? Book a train ticket to see them for at least a weekend. You enjoy listening to music, but the ads enjoy the hell out of you, just pay that £10 per month on Spotify Premium and enjoy listing to your favourite artists. Same thing goes for Netflix. We don’t always need to spend big money to really enjoy things. In fact my favourite days are very simple, seeing my friends, going to coffee shops with them or shows, that literally few quid, and sometimes not the greatest. Or maybe it’s just my taste.
21.It takes time to find ourself but when you do, nothing can beat it.
Over the years of writing and creating this blog, I’m not going to lie, I lost myself, my style and what I really enjoyed, all in the order to fit in the crowd of bloggers. I wanted my style to chic and clean, my surroundings minimal and I lost interests in the stuff that I use to really care about, that being music, movies, art… It could because when I started writing this blog I was just a teeneager trying to fit in. Maybe becuse when I started there weren’t many people that I could relate to. Of course over the time that all changed, but of course it took time, few years in fact. However finally I stopped caring about what people are going to think of me, my style, my taste in music, unhealthy obsession with bands… I just don’t care anymore, it feels like I knew for ages what I really liked, but suppressed that in order to be liked. Now I let my true passions, visions, interests run wild and free, being utterly unapologetic about it and not giving a single crap about whenever someone likes it or not. And you know what. It’s pretty awesome! I recommend that feeling, a lot!
22. Be nice.
This should go without saying but I’m sure both you and I will agree that in fact something as little and potentially insignificant as “be nice” should be constantly reminded, it’s sad really. But what I’m trying to say is, don’t be an asshole.
I know this post is really long, and posted quite late, I procrastinated a lot to be honest. Maybe that’s a point for next year. Anyway. I hope you enjoyed this blog post, let me know if you wish more of these type of posts. Please let me know in the comments what do you think of this post and which point that I made was something that you learned in your years as well. Have a lovely evening/night/day! Love xxx
Let’s be friends ^_^